We’ve all met them. We’ve been them. The Punishers. Punishers are people who do not know when to let go of something. They will keep flogging and flogging and flogging an issue and become completely inflexible and out of balance because of past hurts. The root of this behaviour is sadly enough from trauma as a child, quite often exposed to an overbearing parent in whose eyes the child never could do anything right. That child’s psyche is so damaged, because of the fact that they were always guilted into doing stuff, or even shamed for not doing stuff and/or being a certain way.
The sad result is that that this adult, turns into someone who feels wronged by the world and starts to project that exact same behavior unto the people around them, often damaging what could have been very healthy and positive relationships.
Kabbalistically speaking, this person develops an imbalance between severity and mercy in their life and when they believe they are wronged by someone, they will come down on that person and “punish” them with severity. They will continue to play out this emotional and physical abuse on others, because they did not have the emotional resources to put up boundaries as a child. No one expects a child to be immune against such behaviour, however, it is the task of the adult to cultivate awareness of their wounding and to facility some form of healing or restitution for themselves. This is where the “because of my parents” response is no longer useful. We live in the age of self responsibility and we need to take responsibility for our own healing, otherwise we become our perpetrators and is no better.
Even sadder is the Karma this creates for that individual, because through their whole life, relationships will end on bad terms. The child as adult ends up feeling alone, rejected and deserted.
The saddest part about “The Punisher” role to me, is the fact that the punisher ends up being punished again, getting harder and harder and more inflexible in their life. Ultimately stifled by their own Karma and cycle they are trapped into. These people in turn, end up punishing the wrong people, for their hurt and lack of setting personal boundaries in the past. They punish others for not healing their own hurts, thus continuing the cycle of creating negative karma for themselves.
Do you know people who are severe punishers in your life? Are you a severe punisher?
There are ways to break free from these debilitating cycles. It does however, take commitment and time dedication from yourself for yourself. If this post triggered a nerve for you, feel free to contact me for a cup of tea and a chat.
Love and Moonlight, Leonie