The “In-Betweens”

The “In-Betweens”

Have you ever felt stuck in the inbetween – not sure what to do? Or when you take action – you aren’t sure your choices were the correct ones?

I have to be honest with you, the following share makes me feel a bit vulnerable, but I know that if you are currently experiencing some “inbetween time” – this piece is for you.

A while ago it came to our attention that our son was lagging behind in maths and spelling at school. With diligent parenting and extra support, he caught up and was on a good trajectory. We had suspicions that his performance was linked to something emotional and not a cognitive issue per se, but no one could tell us exactly what was wrong.

It wasn’t until two months later that the real reason for his struggles was brought to light by an incident at school.

Closer investigation confirmed our worst fears.

After much deliberation, we decided to move him out of that specific school environment – a hard decision as we were invested in the community and feeling brokenhearted that our son didn’t have the same experience as his older sister at our beloved school.

Upon taking him to another local school for enrolment, we received notice from the academic evaluator that he is “not up to standard” and that they could not accept him until he has gone through quite an extensive remediation program. Initially this came as quite a shock and disappointment to us as parents. Having paid an extraordinary amount of private tuition (and support tuition fees), we did not expect to get this kind of feedback from an academic institution. We were harshly delivered some questionable news that no school in our area would accept our son, as he was not meeting basic academic needs. This showed us the true colours of the school institution, and forced us to simmer in the lessons that this experience could teach us.

I knew my son had a reason for creating this line up of events. He had a very important message for us.

I will be honest and say that it took us time to process the anger, resentment and disappointment we felt towards the people who had hurt our son. At the height of the emotion around the “wrongs and rights’ of this situation, I decided to turn to the tools I learned in Empower Thyself 13 years ago. I travelled to my Sanctuary for meditation time. Speaking to my Higher Self, I repeatedly got the message: “you have everything you need to get you through this” and “you know everyone you need to know to make this right”. At the time, this was hard to believe, especially in all the chaos and uncertainty of the time when my mind was running like a hamster on a wheel.

But the more I meditated on the matter, the more the message was gentle, uplifting and supportive. I received wisdom that I should:

  • “take it slow”
  • “solutions will come”
  • “let it unfold in its own time”
  • “your son will show you where he wants to go”
  • “he will find his home/tribe”

The more I calmed the storm in my mind, the more the situation started to calm itself down. Every person I ended up speaking to for help happened to be an initiate. This started to make sense to me. My son wanted people choosing a higher way to support him on this path. I knew I could trust his wisdom!

While I know others doubt our decision, I believe in my son, and in the decision my family has made.

In hindsight and three months into the “chaos” that unfolded in our lives, we are truly grateful. Grateful that this incident happened because it enabled us to take correct action early.

For the time being my son is “in between” schools. Will we take him back to a formal school environment or will we continue to home school him? The short answer is that we don’t know. Those answers have yet to reveal themselves, but I can say this:

We love our “inbetween”! We are playing cards, making art, going on adventures, he’s learning to play piano. He has so much more time to just be, as he’s not rushing from one sporting activity to the next like his sister all the time. He is recovering emotionally from the trauma he experienced in the previous environment. My son is laughing again, he is smiling, singing and making jokes again. He is starting to be his “old” self. He still gets frustrated with academics (still not his favourite) but he’s improved heaps and he loves his new teaching support. He can “inbetween” until the end of this year, before we even consider integrating him back into a “formal” schooling environment. We may not do so—after all, everyone is an individual with individual needs.

I know, the “old” me would have panicked, would have felt that I had to fix, make decisions and force the matter around finding him a school, “because what proper kid does not go to school”? The old me would have wanted justice for my child and perhaps even an apology from the people who caused him hurt, before I moved on. I know through the teachings at the Modern Mystery School that we have all the answers inside us and that everything ultimately works together for our good. I am grateful for the opportunity to implement the lessons and tools learnt in my daily life.

The new, “at peace” me, is happy with the “inbetween” phases of my life. Because inside I’m at peace, and I know there is a higher hand that holds my child and protects my child. He has his place in this world and he will get there – private, public or home schooling. One way or the other, he will graduate and make a success of his life. The old me, was the “driver”. I would drive situations, projects, people, resources until I achieved my desired outcome. I have learned to be fine with the “inbetween” pockets of my life.

It’s often in these “voids” that life reveals its most pleasant surprises and most lucrative blessings and opportunities.

Who knows, the experiences “inbetween” in life, are perhaps the place where you can take a breath, smell the roses, consciously choose and create the life you want.

Love and Moonlight, Leonie
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