The Game of Avoidance
The Game of Avoidance
I have been working on this blog post for quite some time now. The one thing I deal with every day is avoidance. I have seen and experienced an infinite array of strategies and internal hijacking mechanisms we as humans engage in order to avoid facing our pain.
Some of the more common ones include:
- Projection – everything that is bad in my life is someone else’s fault – including my therapist, psychologist, parents, coach, children, partner, employer etc.
- Escape – substances, sleep, television, social life, relationships, drugs, alcohol, retail “therapy”, retreats etc.
- Commitments – to my children, my negative ego, my past, my partner, my work ANYTHING and EVERYTHING but myself! I can’t do it, because I am so committed (attached in my identity) to any of the above.
- I don’t have money. Well, if you don’t have money now, you wont have money in a year from now, and you will not be able to do anything in your life. So your situation will not have changed, and your change lies in your hands! No matter what you want to do in life, YOU have to get up and make ways to generate money (energy) to achieve your life goals. But YOU responsible for generating the energy resource that will get you to fulfill your life’s contracts. You wrote your contracts and you know how to fulfill it already – you just forgot.
- Trauma – because you were a victim in the past, you believe you deserve that same behaviour in your future.
- Sex – or any other obsessive physical ways to increased endorphins. Only relying on sex and physical exercise to keep you ‘feeling good” or “good about yourself” is not a healthy or long term sustainable way to progress.
- “I already know what you are telling me” – yes, but are you living it? If you are still alive, it means you have growth to do! No one is perfect and have it all figured out!
Some of the more sneaky ones are the ones you tell yourself in all nobility and “humbleness”.
Some of the more sneaky ones include:
- I need to sacrifice myself so other can have a better/easy life etc.
- Work – one of my personal favourites. If I’m busy, I don’t have to deal with my reality/pain.
- Religious Organisations and Charities – thinking that you belong to a religion and “doing good” in your community will absolve you from your “sins” or even worse – believing that that is your inner work.
- Comfort – I make my choices based on my comfort – and I don’t feel comfortable “going within”, “feeling my emotions”, “I want to go fishing this weekend” etc.
- But it’s not me – it’s them. They did xyz.
- “I would never”.
- I am not Spiritual (or whatever you perceive yourself to be, or not). I’m not “that kind of person”. Disassociating yourself.
- Making light of “serious” things. Good old deflecting with humour.
- “I have a good life – I don’t lack anything”. Good is the enemy of great!
- “I have to figure it all out in my mind, before I can become spiritual.” This one puts on many different jackets and is very difficult to spot!
I have learned that we are infinitely creative in our excuses and the obstacles for growth we create. Basically ANYTHING that keeps you from having a good, positive relationship with yourself will create the same negative results. Every step you take closer to yourself, your TRUE SPIRIT, will yield positive results: inner peace, joy, love for yourself and others, compassion, authenticity and beauty in the world!
Don’t get caught out by the above – they are traps of the negative ego (subconsciousness) which is trying to preserve it’s own existence. Just follow your heart’s voice and find your path within! It is so rewarding! That is where your abundance: emotional, physical, spiritual and financial, will come from!
Love and Moonlight,