Age of Self Responsibility

Age of Self Responsibility

I work with so many beautiful clients. I enjoy what I do and I really really care about the souls I serve. But like a mother, you see both the shiny parts of the behavior, and the not so sterling parts of the behaviors. Like a mother, you observe, sometimes try to redirect, suggest, gently highlight what you see is tripping them up. Quite often, you become the recipient of their anger, hurt and frustration they felt towards their real mum. Sometimes it’s the opposite – they had a mum who didn’t reprimand them, so they never learnt to face consequences so they end up avoiding responsibility their whole life. And when you gently call them to task about their commitment, they blame, reject and prosecute. Playing out as just another uglier version of avoidance.

Because you hold that caring mother energy, people don’t know how to receive it, or they’ve learnt to distrust it (sometimes when their mother was one minute sweet and one minute they turned), the adult grows up believing all woman are like that, and they project that pain and disappointment (distrust) unto all woman who carry that energy. Quite often soft females get walked over, because people can see they are soft and they actually just taking out their own anger of their “failed parent” unto a representative of that gender that they can clearly see will not retaliate. It’s really convoluted and causes so much bad karma for someone who is already hurting! It breaks my heart to see when it plays out!

In many cases for instance, adults might have learned to distrust female energy. And as a practitioner, just know that your observation of their patterns, would be met with violent denial or outright rejection. The latter is always sad for me, because when we are most triggered, is when we can catch the gold of where we are self sabotaging ourselves in our progression. Our objective is to come into situations or interact with people from a place of neutrality (or balance inside ourselves). Quite often people refuse to look into the mirror, because they don’t want to accept the truth of what they already know is there.

Most doctors and psychologists might agree with the fact that despite their best efforts to make healthy recommendations to their patients, some still go out and drink or smoke again after they almost died of cancer. Some still go out and play sports after they were told to let the muscle rest. Some people still end up going back to that same abusive partner, after they for themselves clearly saw the red flags and it was highlighted by the therapist.

In my practice, I find that those who go out and implement my suggestive actions, tend to reap the rewards and they heal, grow and overcome the state they were trapped in: whether it was victimhood, survival mode, anxiety, depression – no matter what, when they are brave enough to do the inner work, they reap the benefits. And my experience is that those people are always hugely grateful and hugely appreciative of the time you invest in their development. They always come back with a hug, a thank you and quite often a physical present to express their gratitude. I have gotten so many of those over the years! And I always try to post a thank you note for it on social media, because it really warms my heart.

On the flip side. You have the people who come to you for help. The get some form of help, but then they go back to drinking, using drugs, being with the abusive partner, don’t meditate and use their empowerment tools (we have many) and most of the time, those individuals are the ones who ends up blaming, prosecuting and sometimes sadly even bad mouthing the practitioner. I always find it curious when that kind of thing happens.

From my observation, all I can deduct from observing these patterns is that: “life is truly what you make of it” and all I can do is hold the space for people to walk up to the mirror and hope that they will eventually see the beauty of themselves and not the unhealed, hurt and distorted parts of themselves. Yes, you can move on to the next therapist, medical professional, gym instructor or coach. But, we live in the time of self responsibility and rolling through mirrors by avoiding them, will not absolve us from the eventual consequences of the choices we made. Keep yourself accountable, have the courage to face the fact that you need change (in fact you are desperately thirsty for change!). Stick through the harder times of facing your negative ego (the part of you that hijacks your empowerment) and who knows – there might be a whole other unexplored world or version of yourself out there – that you didn’t even know existed!

Love and Moonlight,


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