Today I went to the shops to top up, what is currently an empty kitchen cupboard. Between school concerts, clients and other corporate projects, I have very little time to “mother”, so shopping stays on the last slot on the to do list. I eventually made my way over to a local grocer, and upon leaving the store, I saw a shop that sells helium balloons. I impulsively decided to make a quick purchase for someone close to us who today got really good news today.
I picked three balloons and handed it to the shop attendant to fill with helium. She asked me for when I would need the balloons. Bearing in mind that it was almost closing time, my first instinct was to meet her question with resistance!
‘The shop is not closed yet, don’t tell me that you can’t do the balloons before you close, if you want to, you can make it happen!” This was the almost immediate dialogue in my head, triggered by her question.
The funny thing is, I could feel my body contract and get ready to “defend” what I wanted in that moment. I was gearing myself to push or persuade her to give me what I wanted. Somewhere in my past, I must have made a request to someone, which they denied me. And that experience (however reasonable a thing I asked of this person), somehow that must have caused me some hurt or mild trauma, because I still carry some of that instant “reaction” in my veins. Somewhere a little girl couldn’t deal with the strong emotions that came with an unmet need/expectation and that left an “imprint” or “danger code” in my emotional and physical body.
When I answered her her question with: “Tonight, we want to celebrate tonight”. I hear hear her say the following: “Oh that is perfect, because these type of balloons only holds the helium for 8 hours.”
She didn’t ask about my request, in order to deny it she asked because she wanted to make sure I have floating balloons for my event! She didn’t want to reject me – she cared and wanted me to spend my money correctly to achieve my desired results!
I find this kind of inner observation in my daily life absolutely fascinating.
Because of what lives in our subconsciousness, we often have an autopilot response when we encounter a perceived threat. Now this is an “innocent” example, but I recognized that fight or flight feeling in my body quite clearly. If we are not careful, we can, (under the right set of circumstances) react quite badly. Especially if we feel that we are not going to get things to go ‘our way”. However, if in that moment you have enough knowledge of self, enough awareness, you can save yourself a lot of embarrassment and potentially heartache for other people! You can choose differently and without karmic effect!
I saw this quote: “Never discredit your gut instinct. You are not paranoid. Your body can pick up on bad vibrations. If something deep inside of you says something is not right about a person or situation, trust it.”
I don’t know if I agree with this statement in it’s entirety. Yes if your body is “calibrated” or healed from past trauma, it will pick up bad vibrations. But if you are carrying trauma, hurts, perceptions from old situations and people in your life inside, it will for sure scramble your body’s ability to sense when there is danger! I have so many examples of place where people (and myself included!) was completely wrong about the initial impressions they had of someone! Gut feel often tries to overshadow and misrepresent facts!
How many times in your life, have you gone into protector mode, or overdrive, because you felt that things were not going to go your way? How many times have you over reacted on something so simple, but to you at the time it was a real threat? Think of how much hurt you could have saved yourself if only you were more in tuned with the physical and intuitive reaction in your body?
Almost every tool in my healing repertoire is designed to help the human transcend that overdrive, the autopilot of the subconsciousness. It is designed to bring more awareness to the soul and to help you make decisions in your life from a neutral perspective. This is such an empowering skill to have! This is what self mastery is all about!
What traumatic miscommunications have you had recently? Can you now look back as an observer on the situation and make sense of why you acted so “out of character” at the time?
Love and Moonlight,