To Parent or not to Parent
To Parent or Not to Parent
That is the question! Do you feel like your responsibility as a parent, stops you from doing many things in your life that you want to do? One thing that is very important for me as a parent, is to not loose my identity in parenting. I love being a parent, I love being with my family. However, I do enjoy some time away with other people. This weekend I went away on a landscape photography retreat. Oh the freedom of four uninterrupted days – only talking gear, angle, hue, proportions with my peers!
On the third day – we drove into the most amazing sunset. We all stopped right there and we took a good 45 minutes to capture the landscape. It was beautiful!
Back at the guesthouse, I recall commenting to someone that as a mom, it was so hard for me to get these great sunsets! Normally around six to eight every night, my life turns into:
“is your homework done”
“get into the bath”
“did you pack your sports gear for tomorrow”
All while completing the 10th set of sport enrollment forms, browsing emails and making sure that God forbid – I didn’t miss an email or Whatsup for no less than two grades at a time. I just simply didn’t have the luxury of looking outside the window to chase the perfect weather conditions for the perfect shot.
This made me think – how many other areas of my life am I sacrificing my true potential, because I’m tied in by the contracts to my children.
With many other areas you can still achieve great things as a parent by simply organizing or reorganizing your life and time management. With landscape photography, it is a lot more in the moment and you can’t exactly tell perfect weather conditions to fit in with your schedule!
I found that the solution for me was to book regular weekends away in order to fill my cup. When I come back from these opportunities to express my creativity, I always feel a lot more calm, I feel like I can take on a lot more and I feel much more ready to serve my family in the different areas where they need my support.
But taking time out for me and my interests are as important for me, as breathing air. It’s what keeps my soul alive!
In the beginning years of my spiritual journey, I took a lot of time away from my family in order to grow and qualify myself to the level that I felt was practical for me to maintain with my responsibilities. Back then I faced a lot of criticism from friends, who blamed me for just “dropping my kids with my husband” while I trotted off around the globe. He too was travelling a lot himself, so we needed to tag team and make sure we have a good support system. But we did it! We both progressed to senior levels of initiation and today we do no regret for taking that time and resources to invest in ourselves and our personal development and growth. Because of that, I believe we are fairly well balanced parents, and we are able to guide our children with a lot more wisdom and maturity, than previously. There was a time and a season for us to also focus on our growth, and I believe we did so.
What are you doing to fill your cup? What are you doing to advance yourself in this life? Do you believe that all your time, energy, money and resources should go to your family? Or do you perhaps also deserve some portion of all that you are working for? What about your life? What about your opportunities, contracts and potential? Have you sacrificed yourself fully on the altar of family obligation? Is that fair to you? Is that fair to them? Is it fair to them that your love is potentially tainted with just a little bit of subconscious resentment towards your family (because you perhaps believe it’s not ok for you to also chase your dreams)?
This is why “know thyself” has been the mantra of mystery schools for a long time! Know yourself! Not only as parent, but as business woman, creator, artist, scientist, poet, inventor, publisher, illustrator, teacher, academic – all the things that has been in competition with parenthood, because they take time, dedication and persistence to master! You are a multi-dimensional being – you CAN (and should!) have it all!
Love and Moonlight,