Smelling the Trash Can
Smelling the Trash Can
There is a price to be paid for radical honesty about oneself. Sometimes, when people are brave enough to progress, they seek help from someone because they are tired of “not feeling good” and they want to “feel good” about themselves and people around them again. And that’s amazing! Any need of growth and progression past old behaviours makes me VERY excited!
Often times, in looking for help, our negative ego, turns the conversation to try and deflect the attention from the smell or the pieces of old fish and string that is peeping out of the bin – because it is so full!
Normal reaction is to project our stuff unto the person they’ve sought help/honesty from! I’ve done it, you’ve done it – we’ve all done it to good meaning people who tried to help us! In that situation, our programming (pride or negative ego) hi-jacks our progressing by trying to stop us from wanting to have a really good look at what is in the can!
On top of that avoidance strategy, I often see is this is “my stuff” and “this is your stuff.” This is an age old attempt deflect or not take responsibility for the co-creation of the situation. And the easiest, quickest conclusion is always: it’s not my stuff, it’s theirs. And just like that – BOOM! you have cheated yourself out of an opportunity to inspect your trash!
This page is not only to “make you feel good”. It is also to make you think and look at the stuff you’ve got stored in your emotional trash can! Hopefully, also to inspire you to be brave enough to have a look at it with me! Trust me – sometimes, when you open the lid for the first time, it doesn’t smell very nice! And especially as South Africans we’ve been taught this horrible thing of SHAME! When we open the trash can we feel so ashamed about the smell that we immediately throw down the lid to suppress the smell. Because if we can’t smell it – it’s not there right?
There is something about a person who is able to lift that lid and look the reality of the content in the face without blaming, projecting and trying to deflect. This is a person who has matured enough (normally through incredible pain and heartache), to realise that this is their bin (there is normally a theme and repeat in pain!) and they ready to find a coach or companion to help talk them out of their own darkness into the light! There is no point to badmouth the person who pointed you to the stink in the first place! There is no point in trying to discredit the coach (or your partner, your mother, your sister, your friend, the colleague at work pointing out your “faults”) and trying to blame them for all that is wrong in your inside – it is not going to heal the wound!
Only with radical honesty with ourselves, and those around us, will we be able to make the subconscious conscious! If criticism is your wound you will listen to EVERYTHING that everyone is saying to you (whether it is coming from a place of love or not!), and read it as them telling you that you are wrong, bad, not competent, not accurate, not perfect etc! You will never take anything as a compliment and even if so, you will work out a way to break down that person’s character within a few days so that you don’t have to believe or take accountability for what they see in you! Ladies, Gentleman – the time has come to live in radical honesty and radical amazement of each other. Using your seeds of self-doubt, self-anger, self-hate and sadness will not help you come closer to people and create harmony in your life!
Have the courage to take a look at your processing mechanisms today! I have the world of respect for someone who realises that they can be better and who is willing to look at the junk that is rotting in the trunk! That to me is the definition of a hero – not an actor storming the armies in a movie! That is make believe illusion! Real heroes are real about their illusions and know that they don’t know everything there is to know in life and about themselves! I see every single person walking into Sumika Soul Spa as my hero! Because I know the constant battle it is to tame the beast of the ego!
#isaluteyou #bebrave #bebold #havecourage #mashthetrash #respect