Four Leaf Clover
I Am Young Now
Finding true romantic love is a bit like finding a four leaf clover. And once we have found it, there is no guarantee that it will last. But where do we look for love? How do we define love? What is love?
Is it a warm fuzzy feeling, the cliched butterflies on the stomach (or elevator feeling as I call it)? Is it a decision to stay loyal to the same person for the rest of your life? I believe a lot of our romantic constructs have been shaped by what we have witnessed from our parents, heard about at religious institutions and more dangerously so, what we’ve seen in movies. But is that realistic? Is that achievable or obtainable in any way? Are we not being setup for failure against a fairytale backdrop of life? Who can measure up to those unrealistic body, career and financial standards?
Does “true love” or “forever love” exist? What about the raw, the real, the warts and make-up-free-morning kind of love? Real life, real love? Is love a straight line with a couple of personal and family highlights along the line? Or is it more like a hike up a thorny mountain without shoes?
I do not know the answer to many of the above questions. But what I’ve observed is the following:
- love does not come in just one form and sometimes we become so obsessed with looking for the unicorn of love, that we miss the magic right in front of us. If we can learn that love comes in many forms and we will worry a lot less about what society thinks and we will focus on what really makes us happy.
- being honest about the state of you relationship is hard. Especially when kids are involved. Sometimes the choice is between staying together for the sake of the kids, or valuing yourself and seeking your own happiness. We have been taught to sacrifice ourselves to make other people happy. Personally I would like to teach my children about honesty, happiness and truth. I believe I will do that by following my own truth, wherever that takes me.
- sometimes when we are not looking, we find what we are looking for, so STOP LOOKING FOR THE four leaf clover! Love may come in shape of soil, water or a tree! There is more than enough love to go around and it comes in many shapes and sizes. Our attachment to the shape of love presented to us, often keeps us away from seeing true love.
- with love, one has to let go in order to let in. Letting go of unhealthy relationships can often the best thing you can do. Being with a partner in a toxic relationship, is affecting our emotional and spiritual health more than being alone and taking some time to heal our own wounding. If we have the courage to step away from unserving or dysfunctional relationships, the spin off may be that we attract a new healthy relationship because like attracts like.
- giving someone you love the space to find their own truth, may be required of you. The question is: do we love enough to release that person to find their way back, or do we go into conflict mode and drive them away completely because we feel rejected? In short, true love means to love without attachment. That is a very hard concept to grasp and even harder to implement in real life. But loving someone without attachment can be both beautiful and freeing to both parties. And crazy enough – can lead to a deeper love and a deeper connection.
Love is the one universal subject that connects us all. Without love we will die. It’s the most powerful force in the Universe. It’s the subject of many a song, poems, movies and theatre play over the centuries. Love is timeless, love is powerful and both scary at the same time. But if I have any advice to give it would be: Dare. Dare to love. Dare to fall. Dare to experience whatever form it comes in. Because even if it doesn’t “work out”, it provides a platform for powerful lessons, incredible change, transformation and invaluable opportunities for us to get to know ourselves. This serves us on our journey to find our purpose in life!
The Emotional Cord Cutting sessions we offer is a powerful way to cut away negative emotional cords we have in our existing relationships. Both good and bad cords are cut during the session. The great news is that the good cords grow back within a day or two. The “bad” cords will start to show itself even more, helping you to take action and move on from the toxic situation and/or it will naturally dissipate the relationship that does not serve you anymore. Either way, you are then able to make decisions about the relationship without unnecessary emotional cords that so often cloud decision making. Contact Sumika to book your session – it takes only 30 minutes to complete and is a gentle and non-invasive procedure.